Love & Butterfly Kisses

March 5, 2013

I’m turning 29 in 5 days. A year before the big 3-0. And I don’t know why but I feel like I’m back in high school. They say you become more confident as you grow older, but I beg to disagree. Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s all the craziness that’s going on— school, the love life. And well, me basically wanting to move on with a new chapter in my life. 

Although to be really honest, I would say the bottom line would be confidence. I need to build on my confidence. I don’t know what happened to me. Back then, I was pretty confident. I knew where I wanted to go (well, sort of). Point is, even if I was unsure, my going somewhere was definite. There was purpose behind the things I was doing. There is still some of that purpose now. But what I’m lacking, if I were to say so myself is the drive. The fire.

Somewhere along my journey, I took a detour and I lost it. I became this girl who isn’t so sure of herself anymore. Who is, at times, insecure. 

Maybe it’s all the people who were insecure and were trying to bring me down in the past. Maybe I let them succeed. I got too self-conscious. Too meek. Too passive. And I lost my way.

I have to get up, rise up. Be more confident. Fake it until I make it, they say. 

I am claiming it. Confidence. A realization of my self-worth. Purpose. Drive. Fire.

I am claiming it. So help me God.

How much is a ticket to London? I wanna go.

That, and a European tour. 

Please, God?

Thank you.

gastrogirl:

lemon sunflower cupcakes.

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(Source: loveforfashion, via tinaxxxsimone)

It’s 11pm. I fly out to my hometown at 420am tomorrow. But my grad school classmate is picking me up at around 2am (hope he makes it on time).

It’s sad. We’re flying home to pay our respects to my guy’s dad who was killed yesterday. :’(

I still can’t believe he’s gone. It’s all so surreal. We had a road trip planned on Wednesday, April 4. And I was to join their family summer trip on the 17th. Every thing was planned out, we had tickets for the Cirque and all our other activities… and just like that, he’s gone.

Two days before he was murdered, my guy suggested his dad be my reference for an important interview am having soon. So my guy asked his dad if he was willing. And he said, yes. While I was on the phone with my guy. He told me his dad was teasing/laughing at me coz I made a minor boo-boo with my memory. I forgot the date of the Cirque show tickets we had. And his dad always thought I had a super unfailing memory;

And right before he was shot, my guy said he and his dad were packing for our road trip. And he showed his dad how to use the dry bag he got for his dad from a recent trip abroad. He also told his dad I was going to get our refreshments for the trip. His dad had some special requests on what to get— C2, the aloe vera drink we love…

The last meal I had with him was on my birthday. We had late lunch/merienda at a restaurant he enjoyed in Boracay that opened a branch recently in the metro. And then we went for window shopping at sports shops…

He and my guy were to run the 10k stretch on April 22 for Nat Geo’s Earth Day. I registered them both…

There are a lot of memories I have about him. Have. Because I will cherish these memories, the short span of time I have had with him.

And its times like these that I am grateful for my family. Because my brother and his wife were there for my guy— they attended the burial even if I didn’t ask them to. Even if I said never mind. And for my dad, who sent an sms to my guy, giving words of encouragement and strength; and my mom, for being ever supportive. I know my other brother (the one I share the house in the metro with) also supports me fully. He is just a man of few words. And my sister and her family, too.

Anyhow, please pray for my guy’s dad. For his family, that they be able to move forward and continue their dad’s legacy. 

His dad passed away today. :(

I love it!

For another year, for the many blessings, for my family, for my lovey. And everything You have showered upon me.

I am blessed.

Yey! We’re off to Puerto Prinsesa, Palawan. :)

We’re off to a good start! Wheee!!! ;)

Beauuuutifuuul train. :)

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Pre-bar jitters!

Today only happens once in 4 years. So am blogging. :D Again, am terribly sorry for being sporadic this month. On the other hand, my rice intake has been anything but sporadic. Sigh.

Anyhow, I’ve been quite productive staying at home today. Did a Powerpoint presentation for a report on Amuse Bouche. Despite, four of us being the group, I didn’t mind doing all the work. Good girl, huh? Hehe.

Also, at 2pm this afternoon (it’s currently 1:42pm), the BAR 2011 results will be released.

Oooh! Am axcited and anxious for Carla.

Help us pray! God willing, today, she becomes a lawyer. :D

Shoe lust. Again.

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